My "plans" for being a mom versus reality

Around 5 months I started to get a bit frustrated and worn down. Mostly I think this was due to just plain being TIRED. Instead if settling in to full nights of sleep around 3 months as all the books I read (gets you in trouble every time) suggested he would, Joseph was actually waking more and more. By 5 months he was up 7-10 times a night and only taking a couple of 15 minute naps during the day. Not fun for anyone, and most of all probably Joseph! I finally figured out that a lot of his crankiness was because he was soo tired. It was time to make some changes. This is just one of the many ways in which I had been rigidly sticking to ideas of parenting I developed before I was a parent. Instead I realized we needed to figure out what really worked for us, which a lot of the time was quite different than my initial “plan.” My whole philosophy changed, as the list below reflects. Now I have much more time to get out and do fun stuff and even just to tickle and cuddle and play.


Plan: A beautiful, natural childbirth

What really happened: The opposite. A whole cocktail of drugs and medical procedures. You all know how I feel about this (not so good).


Plan: Cloth diapering

What really happened: Disposables! I have lots excuses. Too many to list here.


Plan: Motherhood as nirvana. Total bliss all the time.

What really happened: Definite moments of complete frustration and needing/wanting a break. Next month Joseph will go to daycare 1 day a week and I am beyond excited. Of course there are many times of amazing fulfillment and love too. I think getting some help will just make these all the more common!


Plan: Never using a playpen

What really happened: Agreeing that it is a wonderful idea. Haven’t really tried it yet but plan to. Actually I want to enclose a small safe area in which he can play by himself. Let's see how that goes . . .


Plan: Comforting Joseph every single time he cries.

What really happened: New philosophy: Sometimes he is going to cry sometimes this is necessary. We have started our modified method of Furburizing at night and it works!! He slept 8 ½ hours straight last night—a new record which I am pretty sure qualifies as a small miracle. Everyone, including Joseph, is happier when we get sleep.


Plan: Nursing

What really happened: Nursing! Joseph has no trouble with anything that has to do with eating. Now let’s see how well I stick to my “plan” of nursing for just a year.


Plan: Never being one of the over-obsessed, can only talk about my child, sentimental, tacky moms

What really happened: I just made Christmas cards staring Joseph; this blog is obviously only about one thing right now; I am considering “Babies First Christmas” paraphernalia; I think about the colors in his room; our house has various baby supplies everywhere. . . perhaps worst of all: I have trouble coming up with other topics of conversation. It obviously happened. Yikes!


Plan: Setting out on the biggest and most important adventure of my life.

What really happened: Despite all the complaining above this is still exactly how I feel. It is a process of figuring out exactly how it all fits together and things will keep changing I know. But I am still grateful and happy and BLESSED. Plus Joseph's hair is getting long enough to curl--too cute.

November pics, including rolly, polly, Michelin man naked boy! Plus tooth news . . .

New milestone: Joseph's FIRST TOOTH broke through on Sunday (11/25/07).

(Since this blog is basically my baby book I've got to make note of these things. Some time I will make an actual physical book, but for now this will do.)

Milestones and measurements

Last week (11/6) Joseph turned six months. We went out to dinner (our most successful time yet! I got to eat my whole meal!) and we got him his first pair of shoes (well first that actually fit and therefore actually get used).

On November 10th it was exactly a year ago that I found out I was pregnant!

Yesterday (11/14) Joseph had his six month appointment, resulting in his new stats:

• Weight: 24 pound, 2 ounces. Wayyyyyy off the charts, though his rate of gaining—and of growing out of clothes—has slowed. He only gained a little over 2 pounds in the last two months, compared to before when he was gaining like 5 pounds a month. (The average weight of a child at 6 months is 17 pounds).
  
• Height: 28 ½ inches. Off the charts. (The average is 26 ½ inches)
  
• Head Circumference: 18 ¼ inches. Guess what? Off the charts. (The average is 17 ¼ inches)

He is really starting to MOVE as well. He’s not crawling, but through a combination of rolling and scooting and shear willpower he can travel. This is both tons of fun and completely terrifying. Like most aspects of being a parent! He is such a cute, happy, outgoing guy. Come visit and see for yourself :)

Joe Frog

Hope everyone had a great Halloween!!

The Goodnight Song

lay your troubles at evening’s door
calm your mind and worry no more
the sun is sinking and the shadows are long
it’s just you and me singing our goodnight song

we did so much it was a busy day
tomorrow again we will laugh and play
but now the sun is sinking and the shadows are long
and it’s just you and me singing our goodnight song

all over the world children lay down their heads
on soft blankets in comfy beds
‘cause the sun is sinking and the shadows are long
it’s just you and me singing our goodnight song

calm those busy legs babe
they’ve got so far to go
but not tonight, babe
not tonight

still those flailing arms babe
they’ve got so much to do
but not tonight babe
not tonight

put a smile on those soft lips
they’ve got so much to say
but not tonight babe
not tonight

close those beautiful eyes
they’ve got so much to see
but not tonight babe
not tonight

you are loved I hope you always know
whatever you do, wherever you go
when the sun is sinking and the shadows are long
just think of you and me singing our goodnight song

(I've been singing this song to Joseph at bedtime for months. He likes it and sometimes sings along. However it doesn't make him go to sleep. Right now he is screaming, screaming, screaming . . .Also, I know I need to be a little more creative with my titles!)

A whole lot of pics . . .

Here are some of my favorites from August, September, and eary October. They are the same as ones as have posted at other sites--I just wanted to put a few here as well. For all of them, with captions, go to http://www.yorkphoto.com/thumbnailshare/AlbumID=176015860/a=92522627_92522627/t_=92522627

Another post to come soon . . .

Joseph gaining autonomy . . .

Joseph has now ingested something besides breast milk (and medicine). We finally started solid foods about 2 weeks ago (so Joseph was 4 1/2 months at the time). On September 26th Joseph had rice cereal (mixed with breast milk) for the first time. It was much less of a big deal for him than it was for me. Brad has been trying for months to get me to give him some food and he was right that Joseph would enjoy it. My big little man seemed very interested in the new experience and ate more than I thought he would. This past Sunday he had sweet potatoes for the first time (again at Brad's prodding) and he also seemed to enjoy these. However, neither food has so far made him sleep anymore at night as many suggested it might and as would be much appreciated. Actually, they seem to make him a bit gassy (and he is already a very gassy guy; lots in common with his dad). It’s kind of funny, but it really feels like Joseph is getting all grown-up and independent. I guess it makes sense since starting food is really the first step in weaning—a word that makes me cringe. But I have to remember that being a parent is really all about helping Joseph become his own, independent, person and getting food from a source other than mom is part of that process!

Also, big news: SOMEOME BESIDES MOM CHANGED A DIAPER!! The day before Joseph turned 5 months Debbie, Brad's mom, babysat and changed a diaper. Since Brad refuses to take part in this exciting aspect of Joseph care she was the first person other than I (since his time in the NICU that is) to have this particular privledge.

I hope everyone is doing well. Happy fall!

Recent pictures (just click on the link below)

http://smcvt.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2019621&l=f5550&id=173701513

Updates (long overdue)

• Joseph is now over 4 months old.
• At his 4 month appointment he weighed 21 pounds 12 ounces and was 27 inches long (both off the charts). He is HUGE.
• Rolling: Joseph’s new trick! First the last couple weeks he has been rolling from his stomach to his back sporadically. Last Friday he rolled from his back to the tummy for the first time and now that he has been doing this almost every time I put him on the floor since. However, he has a harder time rolling the other way, so most of the time he gets stuck on his tummy and very pissed off about it. Every once in awhile he puts the two skills together and suddenly he is moving. Yesterday I put him in the middle of the floor and all of sudden he had traveled about three feet and way by the wall. I know this is the beginning of the end for me; already I can’t really run into the other room to get something anymore. Mobility . . . yikes.
• He is very ticklish all over and being tickled is one of his favorite things. It brings out the best belly laughs.
• One of the best behaved times I have ever seen him was at the Wells big end of summer party (live music and lots of people to hold him). If he is being held and there is lots of stimulation (people, music, new things to see) he is very happy. The day we spent at the fair was another time when he did not cry once.
• I have discovered that a small brown smudge on his left thigh is not dirt but is actually a light birthmark, a lot like one I have on my tummy and call my shooting star.
• He has two very cute dimples on his cheeks (as well as dimples where all his knuckles should be).
• For those of you who haven’t seen him in person his hair is reddish (you can’t tell that much from the pictures). His first hair in back was a dark rich red, and the newer fuzz on top is lighter orangey, strawberry blonde. I am very curious to see what it finally ends up being!
• When he was born his eyes seemed almost black; they were so dark you couldn’t differentiate his pupils. However they have now transformed to a rich dark brown.
• I’ve lost all the baby weight, but not the tummy. Guess that is my pregnancy memento.
• He is good at many things. Sleeping is not one of them.
• We have used the jumper thing a few times. He doesn’t quite get the jumping idea. Instead he spins himself in circles and looks like he is dancing.
• He is working very hard on sitting up. When put in any sort of reclined seat (his car seat, swing, bouncy seat) he looks like he is doing crunch because he tries so hard to sit up.
• He also really enjoys “airplane,” standing on my tummy, and being held up high. Most of the time even if he is screaming and you try one of these games the crying suddenly turns into almost manic laughter. If this doesn’t work you know you are really in for it.
• Mom got a night out with the girls last Friday! Grandfather/Bob/my father (we can’t figure out exactly what his is going to be called) babysat very successfully for 2 ½ hours while I went to the Bobcat and Reggie’s with Crystal, Pam, and friends. Soo much fun! Father was able to get Joseph to go back to sleep when he woke up—something even I can’t do half the time.
• We’re in love. It’s like a fairytale romance (plus lots of body fluids). We could gaze into each others eyes all day long.

New pictures!

Recent pictures, all around 3 months!!
(So old and so accomplished)

He can finally play with toys!

But looking at himself in the mirror is still the most fun

He is also now a fountain of drool

Grandparents and cousins

At the fair!

Mom gets a break

How cool

Working on sitting!

Talking

We are at the "everything goes in the mouth" stage

Two old pictures I had trouble posting before (I have DSL now so nothing can stop me!)

With dad (about 2 1/2 months)

Bath time!